Up early, but

27 Jan

not early enough.  Wanted to get in a few miles but, as intoned, not up enough early for the distance with which I wanted to start my new pattern.  Tonight, I tell myself.  So no complaining about how long the workday was–  Not to self but note to everyone wanting to ignite new habits and ways, work toward something.  I swear, I could kick myself right now, but that will do nothing, literally nothing or something tremendous, that being keeping me from doing anything forwarding today.  Move on from the mistake, don’t put this under any self-depreciating microscope.  Keep moving.  Till tonight.  My goal– RUN. As many miles as I can.  Begin the new meter and tempo.  Learn from this failure, and it is a wee failure even though I hate that word and it stings knowing I’m associated with it this morning.  But, that’s what I need.  That’s propelling, that’s helpful.

Made coffee, first sip hotter than hot. Good… moving me closer to tonight where I put speed at whatever I want. And tomorrow morning, up so early everyone knowing me will think… huh, wow, he did it, or ‘he can actually do it’.

We need to painfully push ourselves if we’re to achieve something abnormally great.  We need to see excuses as points of failure… be harsh with ourselves.  The saying, “You are your toughest critic.” or whatever, should be edited to, and will be edited by me for me to “You are your most unforgiving, meticulous, and vicious critic. Watch all your steps.” ‘Nother sip, and I’m awake.  Could get in some push-ups. I guess… I can, I do and did.  15 then another set in a minute. Today isn’t like others I feel. It won’t be.  Today, we test ourselves… let’s wildly and harshly test ourselves today, mes amies… let’s get ourselves somewhere. Let’s inventory every action today so at day’s end we can not just say we did it but SEE that we did it. KNOW, we did it.  Let’s enjoy that sensation rather that think to self, “If only I would have….” No, you did.

Your mood will be something you’ve never felt pulse through your circuitry, at day’s end.  But you have to start now.  So, if your having a cup of coffee, or reading the paper, or wasting time just scrolling through shit on your phone, change gears!  Accelerate in directions different… 15 more.

Better than the last 15.  Keep getting better…. force yourself, fellow self-critic, to be in a ceaseless and tireless storm of improvement.  Don’t settle for any kind of stall or step-back. Accept only elevation increases and multiplied expansion in character and story.  But start right now… NOW.  This breath is where you go there, get you to your There.  This is more than a morning, for me, you, us… this is a story-shock, turning the ship not around but to heading new…. to the truest and most found and creative of YOU’s.  I didn’t wake when I wanted, but am I ever awake and aware and a pursuer, NOW.

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