Tag Archives: Advice

Santa Rosa Junior College is…

9 Apr

Grin

9 Apr

I can only. Right now, as the day gets closer to its end.  Me about to go upstairs to bed before my wife texts me and tells me to do just that.  I smirk a bit, finally on the Road I’ve been meant to be on.  Studying, in class, undergrad and grad, all those memories and scenes returning… the one spoken word piece I wrote in retaliation to what a poetry “professor” remarked about one of my pieces.  I smile, slightly, not giving too much to air, but I’m collected and assembled in this character.  Who Mike Madigan is, right now, on this floor.  I’m in an umbrage of understanding.

Reviewing my progress.  Guess you could call it a self-assessment, I guess, I don’t know though.  Is it?  Honestly, I don’t care.  I’ve come to a place and point in my story where I don’t over-invest in what I have little or no control over.  OR, even total control.  I’m not concerned with control as much as I am composition.  Not wanting bed, only more time to meditate, collect, think about next day, what I’ll say in class, and how I’ll amass my notes and say something of “value”.

This feels funny.  Not sure if it’s confidence or some bravado that I’ve always wished I’d possessed and now for some reason in this late stage of my life I do—  How.  Why.  Don’t ask those questions, I tell myself.  Consolidate… reiterate, mediate, paginate and promulgate.  You see something at a certain point in your story.  You’re not sure what it is exactly, meaning you don’t have a particular moniker or classification, but you’re magnetized by it.  And you lead, while you follow… following your own lead to that prize and premise, seductive mise.  More understanding, lesson, collection.  The answers catapult themselves to me in eagerly healing hives.

Shorter sentences are punctuating

6 Apr

pulses of self, jabs that most often land and have integral impact. Longer sentences are haymakers that often lose and contribute little to your writing.

from an essay

6 Apr

…waking at 04:00, and getting coffee shortly after.  Driving down in the dark and barely able to believe I brought myself to do it.  On the Road, driving, no light, an iced coffee, and hours ahead of me.  Never been in a car this long by myself. I couldn’t overthink or overanalyze.  I needed the collection, I need to do more than just immerse myself in what I was doing.  I-5, like a meditation stretch, a feat of collectivity and thought assembly, realization and what I need to.  The Road shows what to know, where we ought go, and to what our energies throw.  I’m everywhere and in one place, on this couch, after my drives.  Travel is integral and principally cardinal for the artist, writer…

thought

2 Apr

This writer’s chemistry and ideological geography, peerless for Day 1 of week.  Drawing my time as I see it needing to be drawn and laid before me.  Do the same.  Do the same for you and what you want.  Write what you want over and over… cover a page of your journal with one singular aim.  Start with that.  Newborn week, newborn ideas, possibilities, dreams and visions and embodiment of YOU, reader.  Travel, grow, if not physically then through thought.  All is plausible, possible, likely with your thoughts.  With new thoughts, on a new day, in a new week.  

Purpose…

1 Apr

Study yours.

With love.

Curiosity.

Sensibility.

Magnanimity.

With an artist’s urge.

Writing on my lunch break as I always do,

30 Mar

but this time with more purpose, further realizing my purpose and what I’m to do in it.  These written meditations, they provide more musical growth and character development, more motioned Truth.  I’m seeing purpose as re-calculation and re-calibration.  You don’t just know your purpose, you learn it.  Hence, the exploration, the openness and the eventual understanding from it.  Writing on lunch I collect in an empty office, seeing more of what I’m to do…. If I want to make more money, I do this…. I want to be happier, I do this…. YOU, want to have a certain mode of living, you…. Purpose entails an interconnectedness of election and sight.  Over and over I think about this, my purpose, what I’m supposed to do at a certain time, and if what I’m doing is bringing me closer to purpose and truth or if it’s ushering me in the wrong direction, further away.

My momentum, these stages in this story, my story, further understanding my present present, my actualization of thought.  If I wanted, I could just walk out of here, leave the winery and the wine industry, and do something else.  But I don’t as I’m certain it further assembles my character, purposes my purpose.  You find yourself at an age, at whatever age, where you see your character more objectively, and evaluate your actions with more intention, a little more scrutiny and centeredness.  That’s where I am… these inward jots, helping me see, assisting in my roundedness of purpose, knowing my purpose, and acting from it.

Over twenty minutes left in my break, and I have no interest in eating.  I need to get somewhere, somewhere with my character, with my story, with my writing and eventual travels, with teaching and how I want to teach, if I’m even teaching.  One of my resolves, my bourns if you will, is to speak with students, everywhere.  To help them realize that their goals are more than attainable, that they are already there perceptively they just to build the bridge to the material, the tangible.  The student life and experience, mentality and movement has forever been my purpose, why I woke up this morning wanting to learn— more about myself and my career as an educator, about the world around me, my “students” in both classes, everything.  Being a student myself and connecting more to the student’s story and narrative, largely tells my purpose.

A student.  Me.  MY purpose.  Writing on lunch as only a student with an assignment due would do.  Today, I keep myself purposeful, a student, even when bored… and if I’m finding myself a bit idle, I’ll write why I feel that way.  Deconstruct and reconstruct it.  This break, nearly not happening as I was tempted to go get tacos down the road, or something, teaches.  I learn.  I’m in the learner’s lean, finishing my assignments, closer to graduation, closer to more of the purpose.  All parcels of your purpose, with work, will live with defined togetherness, no gaps, crucial realizations and loud understanding of Self.