Tag Archives: Note To Self


10 Feb

Photo on 2-10-18 at 8.47 AM #3Wrote a verse that I quite like, if you should know, here at the Windsor Starbucks.  Woman asking me if she can use the two chairs on the other side of this table, “We’re having a bit of a reunion,” she said.  I told her sure, and to enjoy.  Feeling more than positive this morrow, with poetry in every one of my breaths and turns of neck.  Deciding to have everything be verse today, and going forward, for an number of reasons none of which I want to bore you with, but know this morning has educated me wildly.  Exactly 30 minutes left in my sitting here, the large group loud but beats in my ears, forcing me to stay in poetry mode, selling the tracks soon, promising self.  Man in front o’ me on phone with sunglasses on, typing something on phone and the size of the group increases, as does their volume.  I look at them and see verse shooting from each mouth, each dialect and tongue, life story and love shade.  Sip my coffee and the ice I requested put in already melted.

Yesterday, young girl, just 21, tasting wine with her family mentioned the buttery aspect of a Chardonnay, and that she like it, that butter made it better, then reciting “Life is a good butter.” I wrote it down immediately, telling her that was a great line.  She and her family laughed, not at me but that I found it so amusing.  They asked if I wrote, I said yes, then distracted them with more wine so they wouldn’t see me jotting their voices and boxing their dialogue.

Managed to write a poem last night as well, after Alice and I got back from Rosso.  So much in and on and about, all around, mind this morning.  Life.. so short.  How you don’t know when your last page is I find terrifying and terrific, concurrently.  You have right now, you have everything around you to write about.  There is NO excuse to not be writing, narrating your day and morning, the current thought.  And if you are lying in bred, this Saturday morning, just relaxing, write about what that’s doing to your character, AND… use that meditation to plan and draw a map to your There.  This is not just me writing before work, this is me seeing everything as there for US, to get us to where we see ourselves… to a dream, to a paradise, to a career clear of harassment and liberated from any supervisory tyranny.  Oh… you are so much stronger than you think, reader.  Test yourself… watch what happens.

I smirk in realizations, this morning, for all of us. Not just me, believe.  The group in front of me, all age zones and realities.  And whatever your age is, it doesn’t matter.  You’re only alive in this second, this second.  This second doesn’t happen again.  Ever.  So… go.  Actuate.  Gravitate toward your There.  Make it your Here. The dichotomy isn’t as drastic as perceived.  Or, it doesn’t have to be.  Think in yay-say yells…. Wrote this morning, “Your story.  You’re the narrator.  You’re in control.  Someone tries to tell you what to do, remind them of this, with unwavering loudness.” Try it.  Taste it.  Fly from there…. Butter.  And life is more than merely ‘good’.

There are no mistakes.

24 Jan

There is only self-education.

Sometimes it’s harsh, and downright painful.

But what so many simply and quickly tag as a mistake is an invitation to live more freely.

At home, waiting for

9 Jan

the air duct cleaner guy.

I hate waiting.

But, I’m not waiting.

I’m working while he’s on his way.

Never wait.

Always be with moving wheels.


6 Dec

Embrace all tasks.

Especially the ones you look least forward to doing.

Those are where the most valuable and enriching gems wait.


6 Dec

Prohibit yourself today from feeling, knowing, sensing, or even slightly choosing fear.


17 Nov

With the limited time remaining in Fall term, I turn to singularity, as I’ve stressed since Week 1.  Revolve around an autonomous concept.  Wrote that mine, yesterday, was “Everything”.  But this morning, I feel it’s ‘Learning’.  Every day is a learning wheel, a self-educating roar of revelation.  I’m learning patience, with this whole hotel stay, and humility, and to write absolutely every detail down…. Your circumstances should never be scorned, but utilized to forward you, to push you to your ‘There’.  If you’re just laying now, or sitting coma’d on your phone, STOP.  Write something down.  I have to remind myself of this often, so in no way am I the paradigm.  There’s so much to learn about yourself, so much you don’t know and that your character and story are eager to accent and pronounce to you for your furtherment.

And overthinking.  Why.  What am I overthinking for right now?  Why am I wishing for Newness when where I am and what I’m doing and how I got here is ALL Newness.  Again, praise your moment, don’t punish yourself for being in it.  Use it.  Write about it.  Use the time you have to draw, be at your drawing board, understand what it is you want and how you plan on getting there.  But you’ll have to move.  If your method of collection and meditation isn’t writing then find what it is.  TEACH YOURSELF.  You ARE your best teacher, assuredly.  Think about what you see yourself doing, forever.  You get up early, later in life, for what…. You take work home with you because you are a…..  Think.  Know what it is you want, fully.  Get to know YOU better, and you will be at your apex, your creative and occupational summit.

I share these notes for self ‘cause I believe them.  Not that I think I’m brilliant, clever, or even slightly smart.  But I do want something for me, my family.  If I would have just laid in this hotel bed, unable to sleep and knowing I could be getting something done but rather watch something on that cheap-looking TV or be on my phone playing some game or scrolling down some feed, I’d be harming myself, my kids, wife.  So I work.  I want to be ALWAYS working, always creating.  Do the same for you…. Test yourself.  Push yourself harder.  Get closer to that frame, that picture, that reality you want to one day relish.

Fancy yourself one day successful.  More scored than you ever throught you’d be.  What’s the one practice that took you there?  Movement.  Action… actuation…. Migrating from the idle to the tireless.  Try it.  Or don’t.  Either way, there will be a return, a ripple in your cosmos.  And you will have no other election than to live with it.

05:37…. Water, no.  Coffee, yes.  This is odd, living in a hotel room.  But this morning I see the oddity as a treat, a gift from the story, my story.  I think the Rumi quote reads something like.. “Act as though the entire universe is rigged in your favor..” Or something like that.  That’s how I’m seeing this all.  I woke a bit under an hour ago and couldn’t fall back into that odd winery dream I was having.  I thought, “Goddamnit, now what.” Then, Alice’s alarm sounded for her to rise and run to her bootcamp or whatever class off Coffey.  So the way I interpret this morning’s progression is that it was all for me, all so I could be in this chair writing this.  That I’m learning… I’m learning that there is no reason for nay.  There should only be notes and whole jazzy pieces of yay.


27 Sep

Let’s see what I can write and post in under five minutes, before driving, or speeding, to the winery.  In love, this morning.  With the morning itself.  I find it encouraging and revealing, wildly and robustly educating.  Don’t fight or reject the morning, PLEASE.  It’s there to be used as a tone-establisher for your day.  Why be nay when you can be yay, with the morning, or anything?  More and more, I see the classroom as a stark symbol for everything in our lives.  You make the class what you do, and do can be effectuated with every day.

Enjoy your day.  Demand from it.  Or rather, don’t demand, just direct it which way you want it to go.  I’m only now, at my old age, seeing it as that simple.