Tag Archives: Note To Self

At home, waiting for

9 Jan

the air duct cleaner guy.

I hate waiting.

But, I’m not waiting.

I’m working while he’s on his way.

Never wait.

Always be with moving wheels.


6 Dec

Embrace all tasks.

Especially the ones you look least forward to doing.

Those are where the most valuable and enriching gems wait.


6 Dec

Prohibit yourself today from feeling, knowing, sensing, or even slightly choosing fear.


17 Nov

With the limited time remaining in Fall term, I turn to singularity, as I’ve stressed since Week 1.  Revolve around an autonomous concept.  Wrote that mine, yesterday, was “Everything”.  But this morning, I feel it’s ‘Learning’.  Every day is a learning wheel, a self-educating roar of revelation.  I’m learning patience, with this whole hotel stay, and humility, and to write absolutely every detail down…. Your circumstances should never be scorned, but utilized to forward you, to push you to your ‘There’.  If you’re just laying now, or sitting coma’d on your phone, STOP.  Write something down.  I have to remind myself of this often, so in no way am I the paradigm.  There’s so much to learn about yourself, so much you don’t know and that your character and story are eager to accent and pronounce to you for your furtherment.

And overthinking.  Why.  What am I overthinking for right now?  Why am I wishing for Newness when where I am and what I’m doing and how I got here is ALL Newness.  Again, praise your moment, don’t punish yourself for being in it.  Use it.  Write about it.  Use the time you have to draw, be at your drawing board, understand what it is you want and how you plan on getting there.  But you’ll have to move.  If your method of collection and meditation isn’t writing then find what it is.  TEACH YOURSELF.  You ARE your best teacher, assuredly.  Think about what you see yourself doing, forever.  You get up early, later in life, for what…. You take work home with you because you are a…..  Think.  Know what it is you want, fully.  Get to know YOU better, and you will be at your apex, your creative and occupational summit.

I share these notes for self ‘cause I believe them.  Not that I think I’m brilliant, clever, or even slightly smart.  But I do want something for me, my family.  If I would have just laid in this hotel bed, unable to sleep and knowing I could be getting something done but rather watch something on that cheap-looking TV or be on my phone playing some game or scrolling down some feed, I’d be harming myself, my kids, wife.  So I work.  I want to be ALWAYS working, always creating.  Do the same for you…. Test yourself.  Push yourself harder.  Get closer to that frame, that picture, that reality you want to one day relish.

Fancy yourself one day successful.  More scored than you ever throught you’d be.  What’s the one practice that took you there?  Movement.  Action… actuation…. Migrating from the idle to the tireless.  Try it.  Or don’t.  Either way, there will be a return, a ripple in your cosmos.  And you will have no other election than to live with it.

05:37…. Water, no.  Coffee, yes.  This is odd, living in a hotel room.  But this morning I see the oddity as a treat, a gift from the story, my story.  I think the Rumi quote reads something like.. “Act as though the entire universe is rigged in your favor..” Or something like that.  That’s how I’m seeing this all.  I woke a bit under an hour ago and couldn’t fall back into that odd winery dream I was having.  I thought, “Goddamnit, now what.” Then, Alice’s alarm sounded for her to rise and run to her bootcamp or whatever class off Coffey.  So the way I interpret this morning’s progression is that it was all for me, all so I could be in this chair writing this.  That I’m learning… I’m learning that there is no reason for nay.  There should only be notes and whole jazzy pieces of yay.


27 Sep

Let’s see what I can write and post in under five minutes, before driving, or speeding, to the winery.  In love, this morning.  With the morning itself.  I find it encouraging and revealing, wildly and robustly educating.  Don’t fight or reject the morning, PLEASE.  It’s there to be used as a tone-establisher for your day.  Why be nay when you can be yay, with the morning, or anything?  More and more, I see the classroom as a stark symbol for everything in our lives.  You make the class what you do, and do can be effectuated with every day.

Enjoy your day.  Demand from it.  Or rather, don’t demand, just direct it which way you want it to go.  I’m only now, at my old age, seeing it as that simple.