Tag Archives: online

from an essay

2 Apr

A cemented and purposed purpose entails an immediate dismissal of negative ebbs.  All of them.  Rumor, the ‘whomever-say’, the anyone-say.  If there’s a nay, it need be severed.  And not with malice, it’s merely that one-dimensional and simple a transaction.  Now I’m home, with daughter upstairs asleep, and son with Mama, both out of town.  I collect for them, my purpose— the kids, family, watching son the other day practice and practice, be proactive with his basketball shots, saying “Look, Daddy… I’m getting better.” In that scene, set of breaths, he pronounced his purpose, his immediate thesis.  His own purpose-penner, the little bloke, with his every action and attempt, getting the ball into the basket.  Sitting on the floor of this first level of the Autumn Walk Studio, as I often do, I’m Seeing.  Me.  Getting older.  My kids, looking to me for purpose, for answers, for help with everything from bath time to shooting hoops, to building something Lego-related to making a meal.  Guess I’m the chef.  Build my experience through scene repeats, and the writer’s more dedicated to his education.

Only now, at this age, 30-fucking-9, almost, do I know my purpose.  Not sure if that’s late, or right on time, or I don’t know how it could be, but, early…. I’m here, seeing.  No negatives.  Only the ascension and those boasting their ribbons and medals, certificates on paper, so believing that constitutes and forwards purpose, well, maybe it does.  But, all I search for is whatever’s already around me.  Purpose…  Purpose. It’s propelled by the immediate and musical, tangible, positive.  That yay-say I want to be known for, when I’m gone.

Ce….

8 Feb

This Wild Wednesday…

7 Feb

Decided against going to a Starbucks to write and gather, record grades and plan for day’s meetings, what be.  We need know ourselves better, I wrote earlier, what will work for us in this day, as this day only happens once.  ONCE.  Think about that.  Only once?  Yes.  So, do what you’re comfortable with.  Write where you want.  Be somewhere that centers and situates your Personhood, especially when dealing with starting the day.

Here at home, I control this stage, but I only have so much time, I realize.  So with it, I do everything I can.  Still have a couple more projects to get done before getting ready and heading to campus.  This Wild Wednesday, I’m more than merely “wild”.  I’m hungry, ravenous, and I don’t want to be full.  I’m not looking to “take down mountains” as some will quote, or reference.  I’m making those mountains mine.  Today and everyday.

Found some notes to self, while finally cleaning out my backpack (which now I only allow laptop and related cords in, maybe a couple books and pens.  One jot reads, “Go for walks.  Zig and zag creatively, quicker and more colorfully with more animation and genius.” Then another, “The past, erase it.  Study, then delete.” Then one more, on a post-it, singing, “Stay hungry.  Be never full.” Reviewing my thoughts, this A.M.  What I want and where I’m going, with all professional dashes and sprints, marathons and ultra-marathons.  “Simplicity is efficiency”, another one says.  Nearly forgot that one and looked it over before throwing away the little page scrap.  I’m decluttering, much, this morning.  Getting rid of all coins, or putting them into a bag to put into one of those Coinstar machines at a local store.  Travel light, I tell self.  Always.  Less is better, always better.

11:46

26 Jan

Writing everything down.  That’s how you “figure it out”, how you are confirmed in where you’re going.  Right now, on lunch, not taking a lunch but full advantage of my time which is MY time and no one else’s.  Using it how I want.  No spite involved, just ambition.  Educated by the day, a Friday but not for me, working the next two and all those after that.  More than merely driven or obsessed, but fervent, orthodox in my actions and efforts.  Knowing where you’re going is more than an intoxicant.  It’s a defining pulse in your story.  More than on-paper confirmation, but… no words.  It’s something.

Note all sensations and actions, thoughts and entertainments of mind.  Take your day and put it to page.  Study the scenes, all the people and what they say, the apparent symbols or just what crossed your path.  And, see the yay in all the day’s ways.  Nay-say only adds unneeded weight.  Where you’re going will be written, by you, and sometimes you won’t even notice it till you re-read those notes.  Nurture from your thoughts, on your jots, on visions of you in your There.  Dreams are dreams, till you electrify self, start really moving.

Telling self that possibilities

25 Jan

aren’t possibilities but impending realities is the way to see your ‘There’.

thought

22 Jan

Talk to your day.  Tell it what you want.  Don’t hope that it will work for you.  Steer, push down on pedal, go faster, take notes, log your sights and observations and what you’re learning.  The day will teach you but you have to inviting of lesson.

Spring ’18

17 Jan