Tag Archives: Self-improvement

article

4 May

View story at Medium.com

from journal

25 Apr

…if I go through past jots and be somewhat of an archeologist.  Makes me chuckle a bit when I say that, but that’s how I see it.  Digging through my old entries and looking for truths, gems, ideas, realizations and something to radiate in such a way I can’t ignore it.

Another note, “Take time to collect self before ideas.”  This too I need follow.  I can’t help but look at the clock and notice very blaringly I have less time but I can’t allow self to slow.  Right here, all around Mike Madigan is the Now, and this Now encourages me to see self at Stanford and other campuses talking about reading, writing, my focus authors, jazz in writing, and the nowness of the page.  How writing your now can be irreversibly magical and life-extending.  Extending life in that you learn more about you in that breath, in what you right now see, feel, hear.  My mocha nearly gone and I confirmed such by lifting up cup.  Should have bought some coffee while there to make in home so I have to rely on my already set energy and momentums.  Intensifying everything, seeing me in that Palo Alto classroom.  My lecturing on the essay… just wrote another note, posted it in a couple places.  Never say this but this morrow I’m on more than just a roll.  I see, I see, I can taste the lawn at Stanford…

(4/25/18)

Writing on my lunch break as I always do,

30 Mar

but this time with more purpose, further realizing my purpose and what I’m to do in it.  These written meditations, they provide more musical growth and character development, more motioned Truth.  I’m seeing purpose as re-calculation and re-calibration.  You don’t just know your purpose, you learn it.  Hence, the exploration, the openness and the eventual understanding from it.  Writing on lunch I collect in an empty office, seeing more of what I’m to do…. If I want to make more money, I do this…. I want to be happier, I do this…. YOU, want to have a certain mode of living, you…. Purpose entails an interconnectedness of election and sight.  Over and over I think about this, my purpose, what I’m supposed to do at a certain time, and if what I’m doing is bringing me closer to purpose and truth or if it’s ushering me in the wrong direction, further away.

My momentum, these stages in this story, my story, further understanding my present present, my actualization of thought.  If I wanted, I could just walk out of here, leave the winery and the wine industry, and do something else.  But I don’t as I’m certain it further assembles my character, purposes my purpose.  You find yourself at an age, at whatever age, where you see your character more objectively, and evaluate your actions with more intention, a little more scrutiny and centeredness.  That’s where I am… these inward jots, helping me see, assisting in my roundedness of purpose, knowing my purpose, and acting from it.

Over twenty minutes left in my break, and I have no interest in eating.  I need to get somewhere, somewhere with my character, with my story, with my writing and eventual travels, with teaching and how I want to teach, if I’m even teaching.  One of my resolves, my bourns if you will, is to speak with students, everywhere.  To help them realize that their goals are more than attainable, that they are already there perceptively they just to build the bridge to the material, the tangible.  The student life and experience, mentality and movement has forever been my purpose, why I woke up this morning wanting to learn— more about myself and my career as an educator, about the world around me, my “students” in both classes, everything.  Being a student myself and connecting more to the student’s story and narrative, largely tells my purpose.

A student.  Me.  MY purpose.  Writing on lunch as only a student with an assignment due would do.  Today, I keep myself purposeful, a student, even when bored… and if I’m finding myself a bit idle, I’ll write why I feel that way.  Deconstruct and reconstruct it.  This break, nearly not happening as I was tempted to go get tacos down the road, or something, teaches.  I learn.  I’m in the learner’s lean, finishing my assignments, closer to graduation, closer to more of the purpose.  All parcels of your purpose, with work, will live with defined togetherness, no gaps, crucial realizations and loud understanding of Self.

thought

21 Mar

Tell the day what to do. You have so much control over what happens in the next five minutes, and for the day’s remainder, it’s comical.  More than having goals, have a love of Self— what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.  Don’t excessively deliberate or forecast, measure, none of that.  Just leap, jump… do what you need to for the main character in your story to be where he/she need be.

I catch myself overthinking, and I laugh a little, right in front of everyone in this coffee shop.  Feel a little embarrassed, but then relieved.  Why….  I’m controlling the day and all emotions in its borders.

from book…

20 Mar

I see more, more… what caused this?  Was it yesterday?  Was it this morning?  Was it years ago when I decided in my high school creative writing class that I wanted to be a teacher?  Maybe there is no cause to composition maintenance and shifts.  Self-doubt, your enemy.  Don’t let it grow or any perceptions throw.  Composition, your character…. Feel free to re-write, feel free to be free and re-define.

Wherever you see yourself, hold to that frame, the visuals and sensory seismology of it.  Make it musical and enriching like nothing else in your story is.  Make it your story…

WE, need

6 Mar

to examine our characters more.  Who we are and what we’re doing, where we’re going.  Why are we where we are?  Are we content?  Do we want to be content?  Goals have always fascinated me, because each one is seemingly attainable, but then there’s time.  Right now, I’m 38, going to be 39 in a couple months.  If I wanted to play in an MLB game, my want will not be met.  I cannot do that now.  But, there are other aims than I’m capable of meeting, holding and within actuating.  I, finally, at my old age, know my character.  And I’m capitalizing in ways I never have.

So in love with my morning and life and family and everyone around me….  Today is going to be one where I find a wildly beneficial truth…

11:46

26 Jan

Writing everything down.  That’s how you “figure it out”, how you are confirmed in where you’re going.  Right now, on lunch, not taking a lunch but full advantage of my time which is MY time and no one else’s.  Using it how I want.  No spite involved, just ambition.  Educated by the day, a Friday but not for me, working the next two and all those after that.  More than merely driven or obsessed, but fervent, orthodox in my actions and efforts.  Knowing where you’re going is more than an intoxicant.  It’s a defining pulse in your story.  More than on-paper confirmation, but… no words.  It’s something.

Note all sensations and actions, thoughts and entertainments of mind.  Take your day and put it to page.  Study the scenes, all the people and what they say, the apparent symbols or just what crossed your path.  And, see the yay in all the day’s ways.  Nay-say only adds unneeded weight.  Where you’re going will be written, by you, and sometimes you won’t even notice it till you re-read those notes.  Nurture from your thoughts, on your jots, on visions of you in your There.  Dreams are dreams, till you electrify self, start really moving.